How to Stay Stable When Everything Feels Unstable

5 Surprising Ways to Find Inner Stability in a Chaotic World

Mar 22, 2025

Have you ever felt like the world is spinning out of control, and you're just trying to hold on?

Life throws unexpected challenges at you, long-made plans change in an instant, and just when you think you’ve got everything under control — boom, another twist.

I know I’ve had many of those days, weeks, and sometimes even months. And I’m sure you’ve had your fair share of life chaos as well. But this isn’t the moment to dwell on how difficult uncertainty can be. By the end of this read, I promise you’ll have insights on how to feel more stable — even when everything seems unstable.

When My Own Life Fell Apart

Let’s start with a little side story — because if there’s one thing I’m exceptionally good at, it’s finding my way out of chaos.

These days, I see it as a true gift—one I’ve had the chance to practice over and over (and over) again in my life. So many times, in fact, that I’ve lost count of how often life unexpectedly changed and forced me to start over.

But the toughest one?

That was at the end of 2021, which I hinted at in one of my previous newsletters.

I had just separated from my ex-partner.
My business was struggling.
The German Finanzamt wanted a significant amount of money from me.
I had no apartment.

If we look at the core areas that make us feel safe and secure — Love & Relationships, Finances & Work, Health, Family & Social Connections, Sense of Purpose & Meaning, Home & Living Environment, and Emotional & Psychological Well-being — only two out of seven were intact for me.

💡 Health and Family & Social Connections were my only anchors. Everything else was in chaos.

I don’t think I need to explain how unstable I felt.

Spoiler: I did manage to get myself out of that situation — but more on that later.

What If You Could Create Stability from Within?

If you’ve ever felt surrounded by external chaos (like me in the short story above), or if you’re in that situation right now wondering how to find your way out, you’re not alone.

As humans, we crave stability because it makes us feel safe.

And the good news is: There are ways to create inner stability — some of which might surprise you. I know they certainly surprised me.

But before we look at that, let’s get into the question:

Does stability actually exist? Or is it something we keep chasing, only to realize it’s always just out of reach?

The Illusion of Stability

At its core, stability means feeling steady, secure, and balanced — physically and emotionally.

We love predictability, don’t we? When we think we know what’s coming — when we feel we can control it —i t gives us comfort. It makes us feel safe.

But how often does life actually follow our plans?

How many times have you carefully mapped out a path, only for life to take you in a completely different direction?
How many times have you set a clear goal, only to realize midway that either the goal changed — or you did?
How many times have you worked toward something, only for circumstances beyond your control to shift everything?

💡 Here’s the thing: Stability isn’t about control—it’s about the absence of control.

Real stability comes from being flexible in the midst of chaos and learning how to adapt to the ever-changing landscape of life.

True stability isn’t about preventing change — it’s about learning how to move with it.

Craving Stability in an Unstable World

If I look back at those chaotic times—especially the last ones—I sometimes feel silly for the choices I made and the beliefs I held.

Like moving in with my ex-partner, giving up my apartment—only for him to break up with me, leaving me without a place to return to.
What followed? Two years of constantly moving, never feeling settled.

Or believing that if I just worked hard enough, my business would take off and provide financial security.
But then the Finanzamt came knocking, and suddenly — all my savings were gone.
No wealthy parents to bail me out.
No safety net.
Just me, trying to figure out yet another way forward.

For a while, I was stuck between chaos, regret, and a desperate attempt to control what little I thought I had left.

But none of that actually helped.

So, What Actually Helped?

Here’s where it gets interesting, because what I’m about to share might surprise you.

Contrary to popular belief, the things that actually helped me regain my footing during those unstable times weren’t what I expected, yet they shifted everything for me.

Heartbroken, financially drained, and without an apartment (in a nutshell), the first thing I did?

I turned off all the pseudo-spiritual advice.

The Surprising Ways I Found Stability (And How You Can Too)

1. I Stopped the Pseudo-Spiritual Advice

Instead of obsessing over why this was happening, searching for a bigger message, or blaming myself for manifesting all wrong, I stopped.

✔ No more looking for “blocks.”

✔ No more convincing myself that if I just “healed” one more thing, life would magically get easier.

✔ No more endless searching for signs from the universe.

I allowed myself to take a step back from the pseudo-spiritual advice that turns everything back on you, making it seem like it’s your own fault. Instead, I accepted that sometimes, shitty things just happen — not because I did something “wrong,” but simply because life is unpredictable. And step by step, I started to trust that I could, and would, find my way out.

Try this:
The next time you're stuck in overanalyzing, ask yourself:

💡 Is thinking about this actually helping me move forward?

If not, pause and take one real-world action instead of searching for answers in the abstract.

2. I Took Practical, Concrete Steps

Instead of spiraling in fear, I focused on small, actionable steps.

✔ I reached out to a friend, got a contact, and found an apartment (the first one I saw— I just had to wait a year for it to be ready, but I even got it at an old Berlin price).

✔ I got professional help for my tax audit, sorted out my finances, and fought for every receipt.

✔ I took things one step at a time instead of getting lost in overthinking.

Try this:
Break your situation down into one small, manageable task per day.
If you feel overwhelmed, ask yourself:

💡 What’s the next most helpful thing I can do today?

Then, do just that.

3. I Stopped Meditating (Yes, Baby, I did)

This might surprise you, but during this time, I didn’t meditate at all.

Instead, I lived the spiritual teachings I had studied for years.

The Patanjali Yoga Sutras talk about Parinama (transformation), Anitya (impermanence), and Vairagya (non-attachment). These concepts teach that everything is always in flux, and real stability comes from adapting — not resisting.

I didn’t need to sit in meditation. I was embodying the practice just by navigating my life.

Try this:
If you usually turn to spiritual practice but feel stuck, ask yourself:

💡 Am I using this as an escape or as a tool for action?

If it’s the former, step into life rather than away from it.

4. I Allowed My Friends to Support Me

I’m a “Don’t worry, I got this” kind of woman—always have been. But I wouldn’t have gotten through this without my friends.

✔ Some gave me their apartments for a few days or weeks.

✔ Some listened to my constant worries.

✔ Some invited me to dinner or just checked in on me.

And guess what? Letting people in didn’t make me weak. It reminded me that true stability is built through community, not isolation.

Try this:

If you're going through a rough time, reach out to one trusted person today.

Let them know you need a little support — even if it’s just a conversation.

5. I Left Room for the Unexpected

The biggest shift happened when I let go of who I thought I needed to be and just stayed open.

A friend casually suggested I look for a “real” job after 10 years of self-employment. I was offended at first, but I stayed open. One application, two interviews — and voilà. That one decision saved me financially in ways I can’t even begin to explain.

Had I clung to the identity of being “only” self-employed, I would have shut out an opportunity that ultimately gave me more freedom than I had before.

Try this:

💡 Ask yourself:

What’s one possibility I’ve been rejecting out of pride or fear?

Just consider it—without committing—and see what new doors might open.

Moving Forward: Rethinking Stability

Looking back, it was a wild ride. But now, I feel more stable than ever. Not because life stopped changing — it still does and always will — but because I now know how much I can handle and how adaptable I can be.

I’ve accepted that change is constant. Stability is an illusion — a comforting one, sure, but still an illusion.

I’ve returned to my daily meditation practice, which I love. But I also know that when life gets chaotic again, my practice isn’t a magic fix — it’s a buffer that helps, but it won’t stop change from happening.

What If Stability Isn’t What You Think?

So what if you rethought the concept of stability in your own life?

What if you rethought the concept of stability in your own life?
What if, instead of resisting change, you found comfort in it?
What if you left a little more space for the unexpected?

💡 What would your life feel like then?

Sit with that for a bit.

Next time: We’ll talk about how meditation and spirituality can help you stay flexible — what practices and concepts actually support a deeper sense of inner stability. Without the spiritual bypassing, of course.